Attending family gatherings where kids are around or playing with your friend’s newborn may ignite the feeling of needing to create your own family. Besides, it’s difficult to resist their adorable smiles, the unconditional love they show their parents, and irresistible cuteness that you find yourself yearning for something similar.
However, having and raising a child is not a decision made overnight nor an idea that should be entertained out of the blue just because you feel a particular punch in your biological clock. There is a season and a reason for every life situation. Thus, if you’re suddenly thinking about having a baby, here are some reasons why it may not be the best time to give up on your birth control shots or dismiss the idea of getting prescribed abortion pills just yet.
Reality check: You don’t have a steady source of income
Let’s face it. Raising a child is expensive, from hospitalization to daily living expenditures — you name it, you’ll undoubtedly have to spend money on it. Most parents, especially the new ones, are surprised to learn how much money they have to make and pay for each child. And if your income and work benefits are inadequate and inconsistent, there’s a great chance you will eventually struggle to make ends meet and face multiple stress in life. Moreover, studies show that pregnancy without a stable income could negatively impact both the mother and the child.
Women opt to have kids despite their precarious financial situation because they think their economic climate would eventually change — which is a huge mistake. Jumping into an intended pregnancy while you lack steady employment or medical insurance is not the wisest course of action. You are only pushing yourself to a lifetime of doom.
You believe that having a child will resolve your marital difficulties.
While it’s true that children can strengthen and bring a healthy relationship closer together, they will not and should not be used to repair a relationship that has already reached its rock bottom. Of course, numerous wonderful single mothers and fathers out there have their reason for being one. Still, the bottom line is, if your marriage is already on shaky ground, having kids will almost likely make things worse for you and your mental health.
Relationships have their fair share of difficulties. Some are more manageable to get past, while others usually reach a dead end. If you sense a conflict that is hard to patch up, do not expect that having a kid would mend it. It is not their responsibility to save your marriage, nor should they be used to weaponize in forcing your partner to stay.
Working on a partnership is even more challenging when you are sleep-deprived, tending to your baby’s needs, and coping with the burden of raising a living thing. If you feel that you and your spouse can still work things out, get assistance and counseling to fix your difficulties first. Then, wait before starting a family until your connection has become stronger.
You can’t imagine life with shackled freedom.
While becoming a mother does not rule out attending music festivals, dining out with friends, going on a trip, or watching a movie past your child’s bedtime, it could entail giving up or changing some of the activities you used to love and enjoy—at least for some time.
In this aspect, being selfish is fine. But, of course, it is difficult to grasp the concept with all the stigma hovering over it. Our culture has had a negative view of selfishness for so long, yet occasionally, being selfish may help you become a better, more qualified, and prepared parent in the future.
For instance, it is quite alright to desire to explore the country, travel the globe, enjoy your time together as a married couple, further your education, and advance your career before having children. Know that to accomplish specific essential life goals that would best equip and better prepare your future self and family — you have to be selfish. And that is totally okay. Embrace it and focus on achieving your goals.
Parenthood is a lifetime journey and a life-changing process. And while being one may be one of the most beautiful and gratifying experiences of your life, it is also a significant responsibility for which you must prepare. The truth is, no one is ever gonna be ready for this life role. Every day, you will be bombarded with an endless number of what-ifs and could have been. However, they are a normal and acceptable part of parenthood.
Therefore, before you start thinking about your first child’s name or building their nursery rooms, make sure you’re fully aware of the responsibility that comes with it.
Meta title: Parenthood Red Flags: Signs you are not Ready to be One yet.
meta desc: Having a baby is not a decision that should be made quickly, nor is it an idea that should be explored simply because your biological clock is ticking. How do you know you are ready? Learn more.
Hemant Kumar is a project manager at Tridindia with more than nine years of commendable experience in writing about LMS, translation, and IT. His unmatched talent and passion for digital marketing gave him the opportunity to work as a multi-tasking project manager at TridIndia’s sister company, Link Building Corp. Today, he contributes to the world by imparting knowledge on SEO, link building and internet marketing etc., that helps business owners grow their online business.